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How Not Do A Flashback #4

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Contributed by Warren of

Phalanx Says:

This kind of storytelling reminds me of a certain person I know who couldn't tell a story without getting drowned in irrelevant details.
While telling the thrilling tale of how his brother got involved with gangsters and all that, he would drive us mad by digressing and describing in minute detail, what he had for lunch the day something happened and the cleaner who came that day and what she would always say to him when he usually saw her when she came to clean.
Well... you get the idea.

Also, those 'Great War' and 'Mankind's Last Salvation' (which is usually contained within some ridiculously convenient object to carry around (magical swords, jewelry, star-gems which only function when used by 'The ONE', data discs which never corrupt and can fit in any type of disc drive etc) themes are rather overused.

Terotrous says:

This writing isn't actually that stand-out bad. The beginning is really
cliched, and the flashback makes no sence, but this actually isn't a bad joke.
I'll instead comment on the art, which wasn't mentioned the first time.
See the white dots on the inside of the blue dress? That's because you can't
bucket fill lines that have been anti-aliased without doing touchups.
And the blond girls hair blends into the background. Colours are fundamental.

mcDuffies says:

Phalanx, we all have at least one friend like that. I think it's a great parody; I laughed half an hour last night when I read it.
Warren cleverly involved us with story that sounds big and ambitious, with all those big words like "Great war" and "The project", continuing with a digression on blue dress, that is actually pretty effective as an intro in story...
...and then he puts us right back to ground with very banal content of the story (flashback) itself. Well done. On art, I can just say that he's still using the same image, for both girls.